Quotes By Rabbi Joel Roth

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10/7/97 | 9/30/97 #1 | 9/30/97 # 2 | 9/30/97 #3 | 9/11/97 | 9/9/97

Newer quotes

I blew yours . . . now blow mine.
- AS 12/23/03

I can take advantage of you.
- AS 12/23/03

Noah, Your new Indan name is "was-supposed-to-get-smicha,-but-God-chuckled."
- Edie Molot, 12/19/03

I'm happy I'm not one of your intenstines
- Edie Molot, 12/19/03

- Leah: I give you a bracha that you should get your smicha soon.
- Jason: You'll have to understand why I can't say amen to that.
---12/14/03

My faith in God has been restored.
- Dov Berger, 12/14/03 (On hearing that Noah's smicha had been cancelled due to snow.)

With friends like this, who needs enemies?
- Noah, on dates to often to list.

You are my posek, Noah
- David Cavill 11/3/03 3:00PM

I pasken by Noah
- Joshua Botnick, 11/17/02

This is why Noah is my Posek
- David Cavill, date unknown

1997-1998 Quotes

Noah: Ha Lo Kasha.
Dov: nbsp; It's not buckweat?
     -10/22/97.

Psak is not my minhag
     -Rabbi/Dr. Shaul Magid.

T'fillin head is the bane of my existence
     -Marci Jacobs 10/8/97.

Diablo Farms Pork and Beans (Allied Food Distributors, Antioch CA)- bears an unauthorized "Half-Moon-K
     -Kashrus Magazine June 1997.
       Submitted by Avi Lichtenstein

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
     -Vice President Dan Quayle

Who'd of thought that JTS would have put the students out of the way for the donors.
     -Rachel Kahn-Troster, 9/16/97
       Submitted by Avi Lichtenstein

I'm not going to schul tonight...Don't tell G-d.
     -Alex Weinberg 9/5/97

I don't know what scares me more: leaving this place or never leaving this place.
     -Devorah Young (re: The Jewish Theological Seminary)

1996-1997 Quotes

I have a ton of humanity.
     -Jonathan Schachter

All Mets to be tested for TB; Yankees win.
     -New York Times Headline, 5/3/97, Page B1

Noah:   The JTS Barbecue is the reason for the sixth day of creation.
Josh B: Shabbis???

BEWARE OF FLYING EGPLANT

BEWARE OF FLYING COW JUICE

For some people, women's tefilah is more threatening than Barnard.
     -Aaron Levy

mmmm Barnard.
     -Dov Berger

I never can find anything Jewish in this dorm.
     -Rachel Posner (re:Mathilde Schechter Residence Hall)

Between (your name her) and Rabbi Halivni, you know all of Shas (Talmud).
     -Rabbi Ronald Price
      Dean of the Institute of Traditional Judaism

Traditional Conservative Judaism..."Zichronah L'bracha (of blessed memory)"
     -Naomi Kalish

We don't discuss Halacha on Shabbat.
     -Rochelle Sparko

People ask me why the take so much longer to daven upstairs. I tell them because they daven with more kavanah.
     -Rabbi Israel Francus

Don't just sit there...abolish something.
     -Charge from a JTS Professor to the Rabbinical Assembly Committee on Jewish Laws and Standards.

Beerah hee, v'lishtot ani tsarich (Beer it is, and to drink I must).
     -Spoof of Talmud Bavli Brachot 62a, "Torah it is, and to learn I must."

Don't Get rid of the butterflies in your stomach...Just make them fly in formation

You're My Hero, Noah
     -Aryeh (Louis) Bernstein 2/24/97 12:30 AM.

Ayn bassar k'bassar b'dougies (there is no meat like meat at dougies).
     -Spoof of "There is no Torah as Torah in Israel.

So it seems that at the age of four, beginning to study Chumash, I did not display anything special or extraordinary. That started when I was five.
     -Rabbi David Weis-Halivi, The Book and the Sword, p.12

He examined me, and apparentlly was sufficiently impressed that he told his family that such a son-in-law he would like to have for his granddaughter Tzipora. Years passed, the world went up in flames, the Jews of the region were deported to Auscchwitz, and the survivors dispersed across the world. I met Tzipora in New York in 1949. We both attended Brooklyn College, and after graduation in 1953, we were married.
     -Rabbi David Weis-Halivi, The Book and the Sword, p.18-19

There are plenty of doctors, lawyers and engineers. One more doctor, lawyer, or engineer would not make much of a difference. But a woman talmidath chacham, a serious Talmud scholar, would be of historical significance and make quite a difference in the sociological balance between the sexes.
     -Rabbi David Weis-Halivi, The Book and the Sword, p.87

It is my personal tragedy that the people I daven [pray] with, I cannot talk to, and the people I talk to, I cannot daven with. However when the chips are down, I will always side with the people I daven with; for I can live without talking. I cannot live without davening.
     -Rabbi David Weis-Halivni, Letter resigning from the Jewisth Theological Seminary Faculty.

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at the Ritz. I love Baseball; it's my game.
     -Humphrey Bogart

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